This post is mainly a reason to have that title, which I thoroughly enjoyed thinking up. She's a chronic snoring denyer. And while it's largely true that she doesn't snore, lately she's been a little noisy.
Last night she was so noisy I moved, after an hour of failing at mind over mattering the issue, to the bedroom across the hall. Sweet dreams!... until a few hours later when she was so loud she woke me up. And she sounded like motorcycles in the distance. Oh boy.